you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
