I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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