she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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