Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
