You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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