it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
