Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
