hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
