just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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