i just wanna soil my oats bro
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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