Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it hurts more in the daytime
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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