By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
