Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
