Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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