I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
