I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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