I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
