for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize