my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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