someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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