I'm gonna have a badass scar
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
