R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
