no, he came in my armpit
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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