R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
