Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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