I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
