Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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