I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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