By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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