I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
