i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it's like heaven, but drunker
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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