Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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