sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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