if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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