i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
