Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
