My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
