HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
