i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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