What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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