Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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