I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
