we have officially lost it.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
