Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
