His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
