Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
