I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
