But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
