you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
