really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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