I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
