I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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