I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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