You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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