I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
