Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Randomize
