how can u be prego again
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The uberlube is also flammable
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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