I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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