after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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