38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
