A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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