remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
