if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize