Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
