You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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