I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
