when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
